Downtrodden Students of WA Endorse Donald Trump
It’s finally election season, that magical time of year when every high schooler with Internet access transforms into an expert … Continue reading Downtrodden Students of WA Endorse Donald Trump
Category: Student Life
Ebola Not an Excuse For Missing Capstone Orientation, Reports Guidance
With the senior capstone program about to begin, guidance has officially announced the mandatory capstone orientation, a mysterious meeting on … Continue reading Ebola Not an Excuse For Missing Capstone Orientation, Reports Guidance
Administration Relieves Stress, Allocates Additional Minute for Crying Between Classes
After many months of occasional mumbles and tangential teacher asides, Westford Academy has finally revealed its plans for a new, … Continue reading Administration Relieves Stress, Allocates Additional Minute for Crying Between Classes
Students Highly Offended By “Holiday” Break
December, a month typically characterized with general feelings of love and joy, is almost over. Some WA students, however, are … Continue reading Students Highly Offended By “Holiday” Break
Students Face Traumatic Onslaught of Extended Family
With the onset of the Christmas winter season, Westford Academy students face a stress almost as soul-crushing as their workload: … Continue reading Students Face Traumatic Onslaught of Extended Family
Student Stress Alleviated By Mountain of Work Due Day Before Vacation
After meeting with faculty, administration has made clear that under no circumstances should homework be assigned to students over the … Continue reading Student Stress Alleviated By Mountain of Work Due Day Before Vacation
Gregorian Calendar Experts Debate First Day of Christmas
With Thanksgiving officially over, the last straggling stores are finally rushing to restock their shelves and deck the aisles with … Continue reading Gregorian Calendar Experts Debate First Day of Christmas
Senioritis Leaves Student Body Bedridden
The latest outbreak of senioritis at Westford Academy is purportedly the most dangerous and widespread to date and has not … Continue reading Senioritis Leaves Student Body Bedridden
Seniors Too Lazy for Senior Portraits, Submit Selfies Instead
Picture day has always been and forever will be the most stressful day in a young teenager’s life. For seniors … Continue reading Seniors Too Lazy for Senior Portraits, Submit Selfies Instead
Blackface Declared Appropriate Due to Universal Eradication of Racism
In response to widespread backlash, administration has decided to retract their no-blackface policy. Recently banned due to its negative racial … Continue reading Blackface Declared Appropriate Due to Universal Eradication of Racism