This past week, Westford Academy underwent its second ALICE training session, a program intended to prepare students and staff for a dangerous event most certainly not linked to this country’s gun laws. However, as students reflect on these two hours off from instruction, they have discovered a serious, potentially deadly flaw in the training regimen: no instruction for the presence of a female shooter.
In interviews with students following the program, most felt entirely confident in countering a male intruder. “Yeah, we talked about barricading doors and keeping out of sight,” said one. “If he got in to our room, we could even throw things at him and take him down. So long as he’s a man, of course.” Another was very enthusiastic about the program: “We even made distasteful jokes about self-sacrifice! It was pretty great. Anyways, I think it’s great that we’re so prepared for a gun-toting male entering the building.”
Participants were less confident when asked about a potential female invader. “Well, I mean… They never said anything about that,” one student responded. Another replied, “I don’t think we could do anything if that happened. It’s against the law to hit a girl, right? I think that’s how it works. So that rules out clocking her over the head with my chem book.” Similar responses were collected when students were asked about gunmen not wearing dark clothing or red sweatshirts.
And the gaps in the training scenarios don’t stop there. Other threats left off the docket include: armed cyborgs, ninja swordsmen, grizzly bears, and sleep-deprived teenagers. Administration was quick to recognize the need for improvement. “Like most things, this program is very much a work in progress. We hear what students and staff are saying, and we want to make sure that their calls for total inclusiveness in school threats are heard. The next time around, we will be sure to address every possible combination of gender, race, age, clothing, religious view, political persuasion, and astrological sign.”
Administration has since prepared a drill that teaches students how to safely hold the door for a female shooter.
