Recently, Westford Academy’s DECA chapter has been struggling with an influx of students attempting to boost their college applications with spurious accolades. In order to ensure that every new student has the opportunity to pay for DECA’s annual online testing, the club has unilaterally reserved every single computer lab and library across the entire eastern seaboard.
In the face of the three-day long reservation, students and teachers at WA have expressed concern that closing portions of the school may be unfair to those not involved in DECA. “It really makes me wonder why DECA gets such high priority on everything. It just doesn’t seem fair to the students and clubs that—” explained one teacher before she was quickly removed by the administration.
One DECA participant in desperate need of extracurricular activities explained, “Nobody actually uses the computer labs and library anyway. We’re only displacing like, five different clubs and a few hundred students at Westford Academy alone. But honestly, shouldn’t DECA get priority? If kids really wanted to use the library, they should have just joined DECA. I mean, they let us skip a week of school!”
Administration also sided with DECA, explaining in a private interview, “Even though DECA teaches important life skills like ‘Principles of Hospitality and Tourism’ and ‘Sports and Entertainment Marketing Operations Research,’ it’s important to remember that DECA is Westford Academy’s primary source of meaningless accolades. We don’t want anyone making any noises in the library that might hurt our chances.”
“I think this controversy is a good experience for our participants to have,” explained one DECA representative. “The DECA students get to use all of the school’s computers, and the outsiders have to sit outside the library and wait. We’re teaching by example how to coercively establish a monopoly on resources, a skill valued in the workplace.”
At press time, administration decided that the closure was worth inconveniencing hundreds of students and cancelling several clubs, as one participant has been commended in “Quick Serve Restaurant Management Series.”
